When grown people throw tantrums

We’ve all been there, either as a parent or an innocent bystander. A screaming 2 year old in the grocery aisle because his mother won’t buy him a candy bar. Would it be so much easier for you, the child and everyone else having to listen to their whaling to just give in? You bet. Is that what is right for the child? Is that the lesson you wish to teach? No, it’s not. One or two, or three painful trips past the candy aisle with a relentless child and an even more relentless parent is all you need to ingrain an important message – what you want isn’t always what you need, deserve or what you end up with. Perhaps one of the most pressing problems our society is facing is an ever increasing society of entitlement. The government meets the very definition of co-dependence. It loves to make people feel like they “need” the government and the people love to “need” the government. Who can blame them? It’s a cycle of dependence. The more the government gives, the more people need. The more people need the more government they want etc… How does this coincide with parenting? People wouldn’t think twice about telling a parent who is still allowing their 26 year old to live at home free of charge to get a grip (unforeseen circumstances aside). Why is it so different with government entitlement programs? Some may ask how a moral society can turn their backs on people. Others may ask how moral is it to promise un-tethered entitlements of which most are not sustainable. “Tough love” is a phrase often heard in the inner circles of parents, child psychologists, teachers and the like. What does “tough love” mean exactly? For me it means that showing love and compassion doesn’t always come in a nicely packaged present. Yes, please don’t tell me that because I “lean to the right” that I’m not compassionate. Compassion and politics is another topic for another time. Do I think the government should be there for the very poor, very young and very old?, yes I do. Do I want to provide for my children? Of course I do! Do I want my children to learn how to provide for themselves?, Of course I do! You should want my children to learn to provide for themselves too. Everyone has heard of the old Chinese proverb which states “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for life. “ I know, I know, easier said than done right? At what age is it appropriate to cut them off? I’m not sure there is a clear cut and dry answer to that but I do know that when the time comes, if you are asking yourself – am I doing too much for my child, the answer is probably yes. Life is full of bottled up, self-contained tantrums. And sometimes, even grown people throw tantrums. Take what’s happening in Greece for instance. There are grown men and women protesting, rioting and even committing involuntary man-slaughter because the government whom once promised rich entitlements for life is now having to admit they simply cannot financially keep up with the pace. Where is the compromise? Where is the give and take? How about civilized people acting grateful for all they’ve received and likely still will receive but also realizing that they may actually have to start expecting less. If a parent loses a job, should they continue to lavish their children with toys and excess? Let’s not be naïve, let’s not pretend that we won’t see this same scene playing out here in our own backyard unless we start being realistic with our citizens, which starts at home and around our own dinner tables by being realistic with our children. No you cannot have dessert unless you finish your dinner and help to clear the table; you don’t get anything for nothing in life and oh, don’t forget to say please.